My entire life I prioritized the well being of others before my own. The archetype of the healer has been very dominant in my life. As a kid I grew up wanting to be a doctor. I found my way into medicine and spent the first ten years of my career working as an RN before transitioning into energy medicine.
Looking back, I can see how the healer archetype showed up in all of my romantic relationships. I wanted to save them and heal them in one way or another. Deflecting from my own feelings and needs to someone else's. It is much easier to look at another's issues and help them to fix them, instead of going inward to heal yourself.
Several years ago I had a divine awakening where I was forced to look within. To stop deflecting outwardly and look at my own wounds. I have always been happy and positive, but that didn't mean that I didn't have wounds that needed healing. I needed to stop putting on bandaids and actually stop the bleeding at the source.
As time has gone by, I have realized the sheer importance of prioritizing self love and self care. In the worlds of RuPaul, "if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?" Self love is its own journey. We are so hard on ourselves and say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else.
Start small, there are things you like about your body. There are things you admire about your personality or traits that you have. You can be appreciative of the feet that carry you from place to place. Your hands have incredible dexterity and allow you to do an infinite amount of things. You may love your perseverance, loyalty, drive, or passion.
When I feel stuck, I reflect on all of my personal accomplishments and the things I am proud of myself for doing. It can be big like graduating with a bachelors degree or small like having the courage to speak up for your needs to another person. I am proud of myself for following my passion. I am proud of myself for speaking my truth. I am proud of myself for feeding my body the food it was needing. Once I get started thinking about all the goodness in my life already, it opens up a flood of appreciation and gratitude that shifts everything.
I also made the commitment to myself that I was never going to consistently put someone else's needs above my own. I taking a stand for what I need. I am reclaiming my power. We all need to learn to say "no" sometimes. I realized I couldn't continue to always tell others yes, when inside I really wanted to say no. I'm too tired, I really just need some "me" time. I call it radical self love. When we say yes to others, when we want to say no. We are only hurting ourselves. Would you rather hurt yourself or kindly tell someone else no?
It's not easy to accept and unconditionally love every single thing about myself. It is a journey to unconditional love. The more I am able to love myself, the more I am able to fully love others and have more compassion.
Sometimes self love is telling me that I love me. I honor me. I see me. Honoring all of the different parts of my body. Appreciating my heart for beating on its own and my endocrine glands for functioning on their own without my conscious control. Sometimes self love is taking a bath, reading a book, spending time alone, meditating, or going to the beach. It is unique to each one of us and our own needs.
I encourage you to prioritize yourself and your own needs. Being able to love yourself unconditionally is the greatest gift you can give to the world and another being.
Look in the mirror today. Take all of you in and fully appreciate all of you. Tell yourself "I LOVE YOU". I see you. I honor you. You are beautiful. You are amazing. I LOVE YOU.
What can you do to honor yourself?
How can you love yourself more?
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