When life presents you with loss, what will you choose?

Many people fear death. Why? Because they fear the unknown. They don't know what will happen or how it will feel.

What is death really? To me, death means leaving our physical body and our soul returns to the unified field where everything exists. We return to Source, the Light, the unconditional love.

Death of a loved one is a complex emotional experience. After losing two parents, I can say these experiences are life changing. The grief is indescribable. Heart wrenching, sick to my stomach, cry myself to sleep type pain. I don't wish this on anyone. Yet, it is something that we will all experience at some point in our lives. It may not be losing a parent, but it could be the death of a partner, child, close friend, or a special person in your life.

I don't think there is any right way of dealing with grief and loss. It is unique to each individual. No two people experience grief the same. This is an important note that we must honor in each other. The grief we experience for each loss is also unique. The pain and sadness I felt after each of my parents passed was completely different. As no two experiences are the same.

When my mom passed, it was unexpected and tragic. The pain was unbearable. Maybe due to the fact I was only 21 and felt like I didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with something like that. Seven years later when my father passed, I was still very sad, but I felt more prepared. I had more emotional coping skills. Death of a loved one can throw you off balance. Healthy emotional coping skills, a strong support system, and a connection to something greater than yourself are all traits that ease the process of loss.

This past weekend, my brother, sister and I finally spread our parents ashes. That day was 11 years in the making. I had great dread leading up to the day. I wanted to finally close those chapters in my life. I had anticipated lots of tears that day. So you could imagine my surprise when they didn't come.

We had a small ceremony where we each held a crystal and channeled all of our grief, pain, anger, and resentment into. We gave great thanks for our parents bringing us into these bodies, for loving us, and doing the best they could to raise us. We honored and appreciated them. We asked that they release all energetic cords, patterns, beliefs and mindsets, ancestral traumas that we took on from them with grace. We then placed the crystals in the earth and gave thanks to Mother Earth for taking these for us. We then returned their ashes to the earth.

I felt a sense of freedom. A lightening of my spirit. A weight lifted.

I still feel sad thinking that my parents aren't here in their physical bodies to be with us as a family. It makes me sad to think they will never meet my spouse or children. It makes me sad that we will never sit around a table and share stories again. When I allow the emotions to settle, I find great peace knowing they are with me every minute of every day in my heart. I carry them with me wherever I go. I know their spirits are always with me, protecting me, looking out for me. This provides comfort to me. I know they can't give me advice here in their physical bodies, but I know I can still commune with their spirits.

Even in death, there are blessings. With death, there is the chance to be reborn or reshaped. To rise from the ashes. Spreading my parents ashes gave me the sense that I can be reborn and rise again like a Phoenix. I have the ability to choose what I want to do and who I want to be. I know this is an abstract way of looking at it, but what is the other option? Sometimes we have to allow alternate and more ethereal meanings to present themselves. For me, this allows me to move forward with grace and to no longer carry any heavy or dense energy forward.

We all have free will and the ability to choose in every moment. So when life presents you with loss or death, what will you choose? It may not be easy, but when the emotional pain settles and heals, you can see the truth. I encourage you to see the silver lining. Find the positive in the situation and choose to move forward. What is one thing you can do to more forward in your life?